Gavin Wanganeen says he still feels like he let people down 20 years after he decided to leave Essendon.
A Brownlow medal winner, premiership player and multiple All-Australian – Wanganeen decided to leave the Bombers when his original Club entered the competition for the 1997 season.
“I still feel a little bit like I’ve let them down and that’s just me and I’ve always carried that with me, because I have a great love for the Essendon Football Club,” Wanganeen told Bomber Radio.
“It’s like choosing between two of your own kids – you’ll never be happy.
“If Port didn’t come into the competition that year, I would have been under contract so I wouldn’t have been able to leave.
“It was tough. I played all of my junior football at Port Adelaide … so it was hard not to go home, it’s just the way it was.
“I feel really proud that I’ve had a successful career at both clubs and I can’t pick one over the other. I’ve got red and black blood in me – every time I see the red and black you get your juices going, emotion starts building – you can’t really describe it.
“When you see the red and black your heart bubbles – I get that … that’s how I feel towards the Club.”
Wanganeen’s move to the Power paid off when he was a part of the club’s 2004 premiership.
But that came four years after the Bombers all-conquering 2000 side dominated the competition on the way to the Club’s 16th flag.
The time between those premierships left Wanganeen feeling uneasy.
“I remember watching that 2000 premiership and thinking I’ve missed out on one,” he said.
“I thought to myself maybe I’ve made the wrong decision, but the luck fell my way.
“If I hadn’t played in another premiership, the decision probably would have been the wrong one.”
Wanganeen played 127 games with Essendon and lined up alongside champions including Watson, Hird, Mercuri, Lloyd, Lucas and Fletcher.
He ranks Hird and Mercuri as the best he played with.
“If you go and get Hirdy’s best game and Mercuri’s best game and watch them one after the other, there is no difference,” he said.
“It’s just that Hirdy did it more consistently over a longer period.
“Obviously Hirdy was a champion and one of the best ever. Merc’s skills, he was smooth, he was poetry – he should have won a Brownlow.”
Wanganeen has been out of the game for more than a decade now, but still follows the clubs he represented closely.
“Every weekend I watch nearly every game. I definitely watch the Essendon and Port games,” Wanganeen said.
“My goal would be to see an Essendon premiership, then a Port premiership, then an Essendon premiership (and so on).”
After 15 years without a flag, most Essendon supporters would probably settle for that too.
